Or “TV Crime Busters” as Corgi would rather they be known as.
The ’80s was a time to be alive as a child. We had nothing to worry about apart from impending doom from atomic bomb annihilation. We all watched “Threads” in 1984 and “When The Wind Blows” in 1986. Some of us would have. My mother wouldn’t let me watch “Threads”. To violent were her words. She did let me watch First AIDS in 87 and answered that awkward question I set her on how you got it. I’ll spare you the answer!
In protecting her child from TV nasties, she allowed me to buy a selection of Corgi toys throughout my childhood. Most of these were available in the early 80s. A time when I was about 7.
As an immature adult, I’m fondly look back at the Corgi toys that all of a sudden appear to hide a violent streak in their colourful packaging. Here are the worst of them:
C290 Kojak Buick. 78-81
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A 1973 metallic brown Buick Century. What couldn’t be more amazing to a child of the UK than a US yank-tank? This was rather a large toy car compared to others within the Corgi range. And it was off the scale when it came to violence. Gun-pointing Kojak figure and a gun-toting backseat passenger. Rotate the disc behind the rear bumper for gun effects. Or backfiring but it was supposed to be gun firing.
To a child playing family cars, this was an oddball to use as a shopping car. Your backseat passenger was always firing at anything and everyone. Ideal for carpark disputes but probably little else.
C 292 Starsky and Hutch Ford Torino. 1978-1981
With 2 figures holding guns and roughing up a criminal, this was another violent toy. Thankfully you could lose the figures in the toy box. What you were left with was an amazing toy car that was almost unbeatable in a rolling race down a hill. What it lacked in weight, it made up with speed. The soft suspension kept it on track.
Away from the toy, Starsky and Hutch was not a TV show for 7-year-olds. David Soul’s character became a heroin addict and the show had undercurrents of prostitution, more drugs, a lot of violence, murders and fights. That said, it showed great bromance between its 2 main characters and working interracial relationships. Quite the show at the time. For adults that is.
C320 Return of The Saint Jaguar XJ-S 1978-1979
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Do-doo-do-doo-doo-dooooo went the theme tune with a bit more added to stretch out a few minutes of your time. It was catchy. You remembered it. The Saint was a little international come the time when actor Ian Ogilvy stepped into Roger Moore’s shoes.
Now I’ll grant you, there wasn’t anything remotely as violent in the ROTS compared to the others on this list. And the toy was quite simple. No figures, no guns but just a licence plate that read STI. And that still makes me chuckle today.
What was violent with this child’s toy was the large-scale remote-controlled XJ-S that came with a bright red gun as a controller. Not quite the innocent toy then that you once thought it was.
C 342 Professionals Capri. 1979-81
I won’t lie, this was one of my favourites both as a toy and as a TV show. I would sneakily watch this from the landing of the family home. Before I even knew what a homosexual was, I was in love with Lewis Collins, so it made for essential Sunday TV viewing even if I was supposed to be in bed.
Anyway, I digress. Here we have a Silver Capri 3.0 S. It even had the fancy side graphics. It also came with 3 figures. Cowley pointed, Bodie, being Bodie and Doyle, the gentle one, with a gun. The TV show, like Starsky and Hutch, had lovely flair between its 2 characters who had to deal with all manner of violent situations.
C348 Vega$ Ford T Bird. 1980-81
One thing you’ll notice about these toys from Corgi is that most are based on Ford’s. The FoMoCo went out of its way to have its cars placed as the hero’s cars. As a child, these toys always seemed to be surrounded by heroes and violence.
Tanner, the hero of Vega$ was seen in the driver’s seat of his red T-Bird pointing a gun as he drove around.
I don’t remember much about Vega$ other than it was set in Vegas and being American, it would have involved a gun in every episode at some point. And I hazard a guess that someone would have got injured or murdered. Or both.
C434 Charlies Angels Chevrolet Van. 1978-80
For a show that was aimed at girls (and probably gays too), you’d think there wasn’t a lot of violence in Charlie’s Angels. That’s not quite true because in almost every season, Kelly Garrett played by Jacquline Smith would inadvertently get shot. Then be rushed to the hospital on life support and thankfully survived. The woman had more metal in her than the 6 Million Dollar Man.
The toy that accompanied the show had absolutely nothing to do with the show. A brightly painted pink van that was a bit stand-out for surveillance jobs had the 3 girl logo on the side.
While there isn’t any violence with the toy, it does have a glass roof and peering down inside revealed a rather plush sleeping cabin for 4. 2 larger than single beds, padded walls, a TV, a shagpile rug in the middle of the floor and no cooking or cleaning facilities.
Of the 6 Angels who appeared in the show, none ever slept around on the job. I’ve always been at a loss as to what this toy was all about other than required for the much-needed R&R that the girls or Bosley always said they needed.
And what made these die-cast nasties even more accessible was being available as Corgi Juniors, as reminded to me by twitterer @Nir_Kahn
Many thanks to several Twitter followers for the pictures, Richard, Stuart and Nir.