Old people ruin everything. Thinking of retiring like your ancient parents? Think again. Their generation has seen government after government shit themselves as your olds live longer and cost more to run into retirement.
One thing these wonky-donks have sussed onto is being thrifty when it comes to motoring. And with that I mean buying up all the stock of the then-new Honda Jazz’s. Elsewhere in the world, the Jazz is consumed by those young and trendy types. They buy it for its load-carrying abilities. It is a family-friendly convenience. They like the way it drives.
In the UK, the average purchaser of the Jazz is 104 give or take a year. They buy it because it is easy to drive slowly, averaging around 26 miles per hour or taking 958 hours to travel the globe (That’s 40 days which to some is a bit hell-raising when Phileas Fogg did it in double that time) and because the gas struts make easy work of lifting the hatch.
What they have done is effectively allowed Honda to print money and charge what the hell they like for the car. And because of this, the values of second-hand models go for eye-watering amounts of your hard-earned.
With this in mind, it manages to keep all but the MK1 Jazz out of reach for the young motoring savvy who aren’t swayed by the association of the Jazz generation. But be careful. Should you wish to become a Jazz owner, they don’t come with the warning that they should. That is “Caution: Other motorists will do what they can to get in front of you!” And this is true. Having reviewed several new models like the MK3 Sport and attend the launch of the current Jazz and Jazz Crossstar, I’ve experienced this many times. And now that I’m a Jazz owner, I get it every day I commute in my silver dream box.
So it comes as a relief when I tell you that the Jazz is so over-engineered underneath that it is far better to drive than the reputation it has undeservedly acquired. For a start, there are brake discs on the back and that is all you need to know or should give you an inkling as to the fact that the chassis is better set up than you’d think. Or it should be.
And it is. With a CVT gearbox, it is no sports car. When the VTEC kicks in, its gains are consumed in the vocalisation of the gearbox whirling away like a food mixer. Mate that engine to a manual gearbox which there will probably only be a handful on the UK market, and you have a car that is beyond better than most 90’s hot hatches. Learn to use the CVT box like a pro and you can slaughter most of these cars. I’ve still not read what the options are on the gear selector but S, I think, stands for “spritely”. Or “SHHHHiiiiiiiitttttttt” as it pulls away rapidly in the traffic light grand Prix.
And then there is the handling. First and inherited owners (let’s face it, most second owners appear to be descendants of a dead relative) won’t know about its good handling because they were blown away by the practicalities of the magic rear seat. That in itself sounds a bit arsey but in practical reality, is a rather great feature in engineering and design. In actual use, the whole rear seat set-up and design are something many new car makers could learn a lot from.
Back to the handling, for the enthusiastic driver, it’s alive with sporty type springing and incredible rear turn-in. It suffers from skipping at the rear due to the hard spring rates but this allows for its potential that is never exploited to be exploited. They go better than you think and can take even the sharpest hairpins at more than 17.8mph. And if you’re into fun with your clothes on, even sideways!